Comments

Epic Follower/Blog Fest Contest — 7 Comments

  1. It’s hard to get a sense of what the stakes or conflict really is. Needs more clarity on what this actress is facing/battling/searching and what would happen if she doesn’t suceed. Good luck with the contest!

  2. Twisted Wizard of Oz set on an alien planet, where a disgraced actress learns there’s no place like the one where you truly belong.

    It’s well written, but I’d like to know the MC’s name and what danger she’s facing in this alien Oz. You did a good job with voice. I definitely want to read some more!

  3. maybe you could just drop the wizard of and just say Oz? like, “twisted Oz tale on alien world” and save some letters to talk about the story rather than the wizard of oz…then again most of the oz tales were twisted and took place in an alien location so maybe it could be trimmed further…”when an actress finds herself on a twisted alien planet she learns there’s no place like where…”

    i think you’re on the right track i just care more about your book than what book its like and want to know more.
    good luck and keep on writing
    douglas esper

  4. Comparing your work to a well known piece like The Wizard of Oz is great for a query letter but not a sentence pitch. I want to know what the conflict is and what the stakes are. It just needs a little more clarity. It is best to follow the formula.

    Good luck!

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